I cloth diaper.
I thrift.
I try to aim for natural, organic when possible.
I research whether products are potentially harmful.
I am all for cosleeping, whatever sleep arrangement works for you and baby.
And I nurse my baby to sleep.
That's right. I nurse my baby to sleep.
I don't put him down awake. I don't want him to cry uncontrollably. I don't want to be in another room than him when sleeping.
When he wakes at night (which is an insane amount lately. I can't even count. Well, I can, I just don't want to or I'd get depressed...) I also nurse him back to sleep. I've wanted to try other methods of soothing in the wee morning hours but when I'm bleary eyed and waking for the x number of times and trying to keep the kid from waking the hubby who needs to sleep so he can go to work at 5 AM to bring home the bacon (and I sure love bacon), nursing the kid is the easiest course of action.
For the past couple of months, I've really stressed about this. Mainstream parenting information says "DON'T DO THIS OR YOUR KID WILL NEVER FALL ASLEEP ON HIS OWN EVERRRRRR"
I feared that if I don't train my baby to fall asleep on his own, I'd be backed into a corner, so to speak, towards letting my baby CIO (cry-it-out, as a method of training my lap kid) which I'm terrified of because my kid cries soooooo dramatically and pitifully. Which is apparently exactly the way I cried when I was a baby. My fault - hah!
Along with stress (in me and baby), I just can't get comfortable with him crying in that circumstance.
Besides, I don't know many adults who need their moms to help them sleep.
Okay, that's facetious, but really - my kid will learn to sleep on his own. Eventually. Am I ready to deal with that, however long eventually might be? I don't actually know. From day to day, I'm okay with it. Brad says its fine. Help the little guy sleep. That's one of the benefits of having a breastaurant isn't it?
So I've finally, and with struggle from time to time, come to a place of acceptance. I LIKE nursing my son to sleep. Even if I have to do it a few (million) times a night to help him through his sleep cycles. I WON'T worry about bad habits and forever helping him fall asleep because that won't be the case. One day, it will stop working and we will help him figure out how to sleep when we get to that bridge.
In the words of my incredibly wise (and handsome and AWESOME) husband, just because we nurse him to sleep doesn't mean he isn't going to love Jesus.
And in light if eternity, that is the only thing that matters. We want to prepare our kid to meet Jesus and love Jesus.
I need to remind myself daily that we're doing just fine. We're doing great actually. We're happy. We're healthy. And we love Jesus.
This whole parenting and child rearing thing is hard. I need to take it easy and realize that God's grace is what gets any of us to good, healthy states. We do the best we can for our kid. We do our due diligence. We teach him the way he should go. And God will direct. He's like that.
In the meantime, I guard my kid's nap (whilst blogging, and soon napping) so at the first sign of needing to nurse back to sleep, I'm *there*. Beat that, nap!
5 comments:
Who breastfeeds their children to sleep? Seriously?
Only the *greatest parents ever*!!! Well, the father doesn't as that would be futile (and painful) but you get the drift.
I congratulate you on joining the legion of excellent moms who love Jesus and put their kids to sleep...the ONLY WAY.
I absolutely love how all babies are born with preferences & personality & it's the job of the first few weeks for a sensitive mummy to work out what those are!!! No 2 pretty much from the get go liked to go in her crib awake & would settle to sleep day or night with a serene smile on her face. No 1 wanted to be nursed to sleep - til the colic got so bad that we had to work out another way without involving food! (Yes - breast fed babies DO get colic too!!) So we ended up with her on her tummy on our chests! Neither by the book - both worked :o) when you have your 2nd (or your 3rd, 4th......!!!) you will find a whole new set of preferences to play with :o) just keep giving what your particular baby needs & you won't go wrong. No-one can tell you what's right (or wrong) for your baby cos no-one else knows them as you & daddy do....... & at 14 & 9 mine both take themselves off to bed & go to sleep in the same competent way despite getting there by different routes! Xx
Yay for nursing to sleep!! It's the best way! Hahaha
I came to accept it a few weeks ago. I'm pretty much just gonna go with the flow for the rest of this first year! Lol I'm in the middle of a blog post about it too XD
Reading your blog today helped me realize too that it's ok to do the things that work for us. Edison also breast feeds to sleep and lately I've been questioning if it was "right". I'm glad I'm not the only one. You're very right, this momma business is HARD! It's so very hard but so good too when you get the support you need and realize the quirks of your kid are ok to continue. Oh by the way "breastaurant" is a fantastic word! I'm SO using that! :)
I had a lot of ideas about parenting before that first line turned purple almost 8 years ago. It is particularly hard with the first baby because everything is new. There are always pros and cons and I think there are a LOT of pros for co-sleeping. You are doing a great job!
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