See you again, Ye Ye.

My grandfather died this week.

Mom told me on Tuesday afternoon that they were getting an ambulance to take him to the hospital.  He was in a lot of physical pain and couldn't move or walk. By the next day, the doctors told the family to prepare ourselves. His kidneys were all done. It's effects would take its til on my ye ye's body in his final hours. He had difficulty breathing and needed some pain medication to cope with the  frail, suffering body. It was exceedingly sad to watch my loving, doting, always cheerful and encouraging grandpa held captive by the trappings of death, this human body.

He held on until his youngest daughter arrived from California and left his body behind peacefully.

We weren't there when it happened. But we did say goodbye. That afternoon, we had spent some time by his bedside. And though he was not always focused on us, I knew that knew who we were. At one point, he even told me to eat more. 30 years of tell his first grand child the same thing - eat more so you'll grow. Oh grandpa :)

I came home that afternoon with an urge to write. By the Lord's blessing my boys both were sleeping. (Y'all know how miraculous that is...!) and I scribbled my heart with paper and pencil. After grandpa died, I'd tweak those words a bit for an audience, words that I shared during the memorial service. It is posted in case you'd like a read.

My grandfather was not a scholarly man. He had 3 years of formal education but my most enduring memory of him is how he daily feasted on the Word. His bible was well worn, as my sister noted. He was a man motivated by his love for Jesus in all that he did. Through his dedication and love for his family, he managed to pay for so many of our educations. His impact is far reaching - we don't even know its breadth.

Perhaps I'm still on auto pilot. Perhaps I am an unfeeling grand child. But today, today - I was glad. Grieved and emotional for my family who mourned deeply, of course! But I am so thankful that grandpa is done here. No more suffering. No more diabetes diet. No more heart disease. No more scrimping and saving. No more hospitals. He is PRAISING! Rejoicing! Singing! Dancing! Smiling! Laughing! Basking in the glory of our God. I am so so incredibly happy for him.

It may hit me one day. I'll look up to greet shuffling feet at my parents' home and it's not him. I'll sit down to eat with my family and expect to hear his voice tell me to eat more. I'll see my children look "under dressed" (#asianmomfail) and catch myself expectant to hear his admonition.  I've been living in a surreal state the past few days. Other people's family members die, not mine. Can this be real?

Friends, families, readers - whoever you are - can you finish reading this and consider for yourself what is before you as you walk this journey of life? What is it that makes death freedom? More importantly, who is it? Because that freedom that comes with death, a death like my grandfather's, can be had here. Presently. On this side of eternity. His name is Jesus. Would you consider listening to His voice? He calls you. He loves you. He waits.

Here is my sharing from today:

When we overlook the brink of life and death, there is only Jesus.  For the believer, Jesus is comfort and assurance.  He is there.  He is waiting.  He holds on when we face death of believers, or our own.  During these times, the grief, sadness and accompanying hopeless feelings is a siphon; though we the living breathe, energy, strength, and life is seemingly sucked out aswe mourn, cry and witness the end.  Sin and death are awful things.  Though the body breaks down, a process that is exceedingly difficult to witness, the spirit, the soul of the believer remains untouched. It is marked by God’s Spirit.  It is preparing, in communion, with its Maker.  This is my grandpa’s soul.  His spirit was alive even as light dimmed in his eyes, and breath was short on his lips.  Because our spirits are both safe in the arms of Jesus, these words resonated: 

Blessed Assurance.  Jesus is mine.

1 Corinthians 15:54-55 – When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and mortal with immortality… death has been swallowed up in victory.   Where, O death, is your victory?  Where, O death, is your sting?

This is my grandfather’s life.  From my earliest memories of him every single day immersed in God’s Word, daily praying and singing his favourite hyms, Grandpa loved the Lord.  His warm hospitality for others. His caring and gentle nature.  His love and dedication.  These things were the fruits of his love for Jesus.  

And at this present moment, he is doing what he did his whole life: loving and praising Jesus.  He is free.  He is free.  Unhindered by sinful life and the weak, suffering body.  He is whole. He is complete.  Alive and in God’s presence.  He is a victorious saint.  

We are his legacy, not as grand children or even great-grandchildren.  But grandpa leaves behind a legacy of Jesus followers, of lives redeemed.  May we who are left behind live the lesson that grandpa lived while in this life – always watching the Lamb.  As grandpa rejoices in eternity, safe in the presence of Jesus, may we live that blessed assurance; it is that same presence – Jesus – that is our present state.  

Revelations 7:15-17 – …they are before the throne of God, and serve him day and night in his temple; and he who sits on the throne will shelterthem with his presence.  They shall hunger no more, neither thirst anymore; the sun shall not strike them, nor any scorching heat. For the Lamb in the midst of the throne will be their shepherd, and he will guide them to springs of living water, and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.”

What have we to fear?  What have we to mourn for the one who goes into glory?  

Freedom

…from sin and death.

…from suffering, tears, and fear.  

See you soon, Grandpa.